EVERYBODY!
Like a normal average schoolkid who anticipates his/her holiday homework with an endless source of joy, I am going to share with you my Holiday Homework List =D

Holiday Homework List:
1) Hortatory Speech regarding the Exploitation of Kangaroos
2) Mathematics Assignment 6 - Constellations (I chose the Kangaroo Star)
3) Geography Article Review - Climate Best Suitable for Kangaroos
4) Physics Article Reviews - Quantum Theory Involving Kangaroos
5) Thesis on Survival of Kangaroos
6) Proposal to URA on the launching of Kangaroo Theme Park
7) Writing My Latest Novel - Outcast: Why Do My Classmates Suck?
8) Specialised Course in Caretaking of Kangaroos
9) Advertising My Latest Album - Kang-arooooooo!
10) Working at Kangaroo Tinklefriend from 9-5
11) Participating in the Kangaroo's Arena
12) Joining the Kangaroo Race Season 6
13) Voting for Friends who are in Survivor: Kangaroo's Island
14) Supporting My Mum in Kangaroo Idol: Auntie's Edition
15) Detailed Analysis of TV Serial - In Love with a Kangaroo
16) Choreographing a Kangaroo Hop Dance for Kangaroo Nursery
17) Doing My Daily Dose of Kangaroo Boxing
18) Writing the Script for the 15th Season of Kangaroo-ed
19) Watching My Peers in the Kangaroo Symphony
20) Making a Charm Potion so that My Popularity Will Skyrocket

I am very sure that my holiday will be constructive and eventful! Don't you all feel happy for me? This 1 week is going to be the peak of my studying career which will bring me an everlasting, deeply-etched, new, surprising, exciting, wonderful, fun, jumpy, delightful, novel, kangaroo experience!

Do you know why my vocabulary is so good? I will drop you a few hints. In actual fact, I memorised the whole Webster's Dictionary and Thesaurus, it's about 2000 pages thick. You might be curious over how I memorised it, I ate it up page by page over 7 years starting from the age of 3. The pages tasted so sweet that i became addicted to it. It was purely an accident when I first came into contact with the Webster's Dictionary and Thesaurus. I merely licked it when I was 3 and I got completely fantasized, stunned by it. It was so exhilarating.

*Burps*

Back to the topic, I am extremely saddened by the fact that I have completed everything on my homework list except for #7. I will continue my mission in observing these despicable, undeserving, inhumane, low-lying creatures until the end of next year before I finish my ultimate novel and achieve fame, fortune! For now, I should just tolerate them behind my scheming spectacles. Wahaha! This holiday will be so mundane and uneventful. What a total wastage of my precious Kangaroo time. Sigh.

Love,
Kangy

Caution: The author's brain has been planted with a microchip and thus suffering from severe mental imbalance.




*whispers into mike*
Oh my god, what the hell laa~
So many people here, including simbah hair sheila, iris and janice! Ee, so embarassing!
What the hell laa~

Good morning *laughs* ... afternoon and night classmates and friends, today I will be sharing with you on how I got 1st for the X-country race. Yeah 1st lah!
Please remember my name! I am *laughs* Miss (9), from Class 3C can?
So proud of myself. *laughs*
Don't look at me with that kind of face please, yes especially you Miss Chua and Mr Ek.
*laughs*

*commotion in school*

What the hell laa~ You all don't so unthoughtful can? I can run first de lor.
You know how I did it? *laughs* I rolled down the slope at the first part
of the race, pushed the runners overtaking me with my butt and broke the other runners into laughter when I said my usual tagline of

"WHAT THE HELL LAA~ "

These purely coincidental opportunities allowed me to overtake them so easily lah can.
What the hell laa~ *laughs*
This even caused a lot of people to fall down can and they hurt themselves so badly. *laughs*
Yeah some even fainted at the sight of me or the hearing of my laughters can?
What's so funny la? *laughs*
*poses acute angle of index and middle finger beside head*
Actually I am forced to share this secret strategy *laughs* with you all by Mr Ek Sue Band but it does not matter. You all also cannot perform this energy-consuming and arduous task de la.
What the hell laa~
I know all of you feel so lousy and like a loser, so please cheer up can?

So I will be telling you these ...

I have a dream that one day little gengars and little kangaroos will hold hand in hand in the prevailed justice and freedom as they walk down Pokemon land.
I have a dream that one day freedom will ring everywhere; in the big *laughs* eyes of Mrs Wound, in the big *laughs* saggy fats of Mrs Chew, in the guailan *laughs* hands of Miss Chua.
So that you all will no longer feel intensively despaired and appalled by the amazing strategy stated by me. What the hell laa~ *laughs*

*snaps finger*
*laughs*
Oh my god what the hell laa~
Why you all *laughs* keep laughing *laughs*
about this major issue!
This is to be taken seriously! *laughs*

*major school commotion*

Oh my god, what the hell laa~ ?
So sad that the education system these days only know how to inculcate *laughs*very unserious and disrespectful attitude in the people, oh my god la can! What the hell laa~
*laughs*

OI! Stop laughing *laughs* already la you overly-excited *laughs* spastic children! Stop it and respect me! What the hell laa~
Nevermind! I go off and end my speech here.
No thanks to your attention. BYE!
*drops mike*
*laughs*

Mr Ek:

Okay I believe this student suffers from immense laughing disorder.
But let's take this matter deeper into the neurons of our brain cells.
What does this reflect of?
Have you realised the effectiveness of the speech?
With a constant repetition of her usual tagline of WHAT THE HELL LAA~,
she has successfully achieved in stirring up strong emotions in the students.
Emulate her conscientious efforts in keeping you low-attention span students
wide awake and fostering a healthy set of cultural and knowledge exchange amongst us.
So please, let us give Miss (9) another round of applause!